i belong...

I entered an all-girls high school and immediately realized I am different. I was just a probinsyana shy girl who was suddenly culture-shocked. A lot of girls were loud and boisterous and knew almost everyone. Although my parents also paid the same amount of tuition and I wore the same uniform, I felt like someone gatecrashing a grand party of sorts. I became insecure and refused to come out of my shell. And I never considered myself barkada-ish, and was even afraid I'd be bullied around (not that I was not bullied harharhar) by the girls who "owned" the stone tables under the mango tree.

I can't say I didn't gain friends. I did find friends every year, some of them I'm still in touch with until now. But I just didn't have a group I could call my own. I would spend recess times alone and I would group-hop during lunch. There was just no permanent group even until the last days of my high school life. Maybe I was aloof. Maybe it was my fault. I was always afraid of rejection.

So imagine my surprise when last week, I was invited to a get-together dinner with the same group I went to Junior Night with back in '94. I was hesitant to go but I was also excited to see familiar faces after all these years. And I'm glad I went. They seemed happy to see me. I was touched.

Tanya the lawyer, Me, Kuya Marky, Bankers Anna, Rosann and Rina. Jan and Pat left early.

Three of the guys we got close to back then were also there. What I thought would be an awkward night turned out to be nothing but fun-- full of stories and reminiscing. And what I thought would be just an hour of dinner extended to bonding over coffee until past midnight.

I'm touched until now. This group actually considered me their own. I guess it's never too late to say that I belong and I belonged all along. I probably just missed the signs.